How Self-Acceptance Can Crack Open Your Life Day 2: Practicing Self-Kindness By Robert Holden

Client story: "I can't accept myself as I am," said Lilly, a 38-year-old film producer. "I don't think I'm good enough yet." "When will you be good enough?" I asked. "I'm not sure," said Lilly. "If you were willing to accept yourself, you might start feeling good enough now," I said.

Lesson: Self-acceptance teaches you that you are not who you think you are. You are able to discern between your ego and your Unconditioned Self. Early on, children start to construct a persona to help cope with the demands of being in a family, going to school and facing the world. On close inspection, you find that your persona or ego is made up of judgments about who you are, what is possible, what you deserve and what you don't. These judgments become the lens through which you see yourself and the world.

For example, Lilly had created a persona commonly described as perfectionistic. This personality type focuses on getting things right and being good. It conceives an ideal self (rather than a real self) that has high standards and stringent rules you must try to live up to. Your persona judges your efforts, and the more you judge yourself, the more you move out of alignment with the innate goodness of your Unconditioned Self.

Exercise: The more you judge yourself, the less you see who you really are. The habit of self-judgment causes self-denigration in which you belittle yourself, criticize yourself, punish yourself and treat yourself without kindness. The most powerful way to undo the effects of self-denigration is kindness and forgiveness, which restore awareness of your innate goodness.

Declare today, "I forgive myself for my judgments." Affirm yourself by saying, "I will not criticize myself today." Trust in your goodness. Resolve to treat yourself with kindness.

www.oprah.com

Am i invisible?

"When we honestly ask ourselves which person in our lives mean the most to us, we often find that it is those who, instead of giving advice, solutions, or cures, have chosen rather to share our pain and touch our wounds with a warm and tender hand. The friend who can be silent with us in a moment of despair or confusion, who can stay with us in an hour of grief and bereavement, who can tolerate not knowing, not curing, not healing and face with us the reality of our powerlessness, that is a friend who cares."
— Henri J.M. Nouwen (The Road to Daybreak: A Spiritual Journey)

 I thank you for all that I can. I learned to appreciate it and I do not believe anything that comes in our life is wasted because of it we will learn many things.

Like today, when I feel that I was no longer important, it doesn't mean I am nothin. Sometimes things that happen is for our wisdom. I need to change. Changed to be more honest with myself and this life. I can only say I don't  need them anymore as my friend, for being faithful is useless to me. I believe life is to give and take. and therefore it would not be in vain. somehow I feel a bit offended by them. I was invisible .. I will only exist when they called my name. I have no regrets if my goal in life is to be so good....wELL saya tidak sebaik itu!.

Since my life, I learned a lot about the frustrations and I already know what is the cure. LETTING GO!!. I learned from both my parents. Forgive and forget. It is not easy but not impossible for us(ME!!! ) to do. I am not a good person .. Sometimes I think people are very annoying. But I know I cannot change other people and circumstances. I can only change myself.CHANGE MYSELF~~

ouchhh meluahkan perasaan disaat menjelangnya peperiksaan...Good luck to me ^_^

How Self-Acceptance Can Crack Open Your Life Day 1: Knowing Who You Are By Robert Holden

Lesson: The journey of self-acceptance starts when you acknowledge that you don't seem to know much about yourself. Your personality, or ego, finds it difficult to answer questions like "Who am I?" and "What do I want?" Being asked to describe yourself at a job interview or for a dating agency profile, for instance, can feel excruciating and practically impossible because you haven't really been paying attention.

True self-acceptance is motivated by the possibility of knowing what your true essence—the Unconditioned Self—is really like.

Exercise: Self-acceptance is the process of befriending the Unconditioned Self—the part of you that is more than just your name, your history, your story, your failures or your successes. You are more than just your experiences or how other people see you or the clothes you wear.

Reflect on this today: What is most authentic about you? What do you want people to really know about you? Who are you without your ego? Be still, and really listen to how you answer. Then, write down in your journal the qualities that describe your real, unconditioned self. If you're having a little trouble answering these questions for yourself, try writing a biography of your real self in 100 words.

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